In my past life (as I like to refer to it), with almost every paycheck I would buy a few CDs (sometimes more!) and a few books (I looooved Borders "buy one get one half off"). However, I didn't read every single one of these books. It's ok though because now that I have little money, I can't buy any books. It is my goal to finish my box of books by then end of my time here- next August! So far, I've only read about 8, so I have about 30 more to go! I do love reading, but sometimes I feel like I have better/easier things to do. My biggest downfall (well, this could also be a good thing) is that I rarely give up on a book. I might get bored and put it down for a bit, but I try so hard to carry through and usually I'm glad I did. To keep me from getting bored, I have my books on a rotation by type. First, I read a non-fiction (yep, I'm trying to learning something out here), then a heavy fiction (you know what I'm talking about... the harder books to read), and finally a fun easy read (oh so refreshing!). Also, I have them in order on a shelf to motivate and get me excited to finish my current book. Here is a list of what I've read so far...
- Nickel and Dimed
- Animal, Vegetable, Miracle
- The Inheritance of Loss
- Beat the Reaper
- Three Junes
- Fire in the Blood
- Free Food for Millionaires
- Three Cups of Tea
Right now I'm on an easy read: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It's pretty good so far. I have a lot of good books in my box, so I'm pretty excited about finishing them... I just hope I actually do finish get around to reading them!
And, yes, this also means I have means I have a number of songs on my iPod that I haven't really listened to... oh man, I wonder how I'll be when I go back to making money again. I hope I've changed.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Open the gate
... But not to deer! Our house has taken on a task that may be a little over our heads, but still exciting. We've started a little veggie garden in our backyard! Now, just so you don't get your hopes up of a huge harvest later this season, you need to know something about where I live: it's a high altitude desert! I'll be happy if even half of it turns up. However, it seems to be doing ok so far (it's been about a month!). This afternoon we did our first hoeing of weeds- we'll have to do that more frequently from here on out. We had our first visitors over the weekend: deer! Luckily, we can enclose our back area.
I'm excited to see what will actually pop up. We planted onions, lettuce, spinach, broccoli, chard, peas, carrots, radishes, basil, and cucumbers! Oh, I hope I can one day just go outside and get my salad or ingredients!
While our backyard is quite active, our front is something of an eyesore. There are a few aspens which are nice, the tree we planted for Chloe (it survived and started to bloom!), and a few flowers around her tree. However, the rest of the area is straight up dirt that only has some weeds. Maybe one day we'll get some grass going, but for now I want to concentrate on useful plants!
P.S. I don't mean to make it look like the guys aren't helping... they were there just didn't make it into the photos, sorry!
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| Making the rows |
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| Planting onion starts |
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| Broccoli! |
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| One month later! |
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| Onions |
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| Broccoli and Chard |
Monday, June 6, 2011
I get one every year
It was my birthday on Sunday, I'm 26! It's been a while since I've been so calm about turning another year older. I think the last time was when I turned 21, it's been downhill ever since, hehe.
I had a good weekend away. We took a retreat to Rocky Mountain Mennonite Camp outside of Colorado Springs. It was soooo beautiful there! We stayed in a little cabin in the woods. On Saturday we made waffles (our house thing) and went on a couple of pretty light, but nice, hikes around the camp. The rest of the day was spent relaxing then making yummy food. There were some games there and I picked up a box of Trivial Pursuit questions and just started asking, not playing the game or keeping score. Man, that was fun!
It's funny to think about where you're "supposed" to be in life. I remember telling Chloe "this is what I'm supposed to be doing" and she quickly turned into the carefree 20 year she was and said "you should be doing what you want, not necessarily what you're 'supposed' to be doing." Well, I don't think I really think about it in the sense of "what does society tell me to be doing at this age?" I think more about "what is really important to me and is that a focus in my life?" because that's what I should be doing- what's really important to me. Well, I'd like to think I'm doing that. I thank God for giving me this opportunity to have the freedom to focus on what really matters and what is important to me.
Am I where I thought I would be at 26? Not necessarily. Am I doing something I'm proud of? I think so. Have I taken advantage of life? For the most part, yes. I am where I'm supposed to be, even if it isn't always exactly where I am "supposed" to be.
I had a good weekend away. We took a retreat to Rocky Mountain Mennonite Camp outside of Colorado Springs. It was soooo beautiful there! We stayed in a little cabin in the woods. On Saturday we made waffles (our house thing) and went on a couple of pretty light, but nice, hikes around the camp. The rest of the day was spent relaxing then making yummy food. There were some games there and I picked up a box of Trivial Pursuit questions and just started asking, not playing the game or keeping score. Man, that was fun!
It's funny to think about where you're "supposed" to be in life. I remember telling Chloe "this is what I'm supposed to be doing" and she quickly turned into the carefree 20 year she was and said "you should be doing what you want, not necessarily what you're 'supposed' to be doing." Well, I don't think I really think about it in the sense of "what does society tell me to be doing at this age?" I think more about "what is really important to me and is that a focus in my life?" because that's what I should be doing- what's really important to me. Well, I'd like to think I'm doing that. I thank God for giving me this opportunity to have the freedom to focus on what really matters and what is important to me.
Am I where I thought I would be at 26? Not necessarily. Am I doing something I'm proud of? I think so. Have I taken advantage of life? For the most part, yes. I am where I'm supposed to be, even if it isn't always exactly where I am "supposed" to be.
Friday, May 20, 2011
A minute of your time
Ok, Ok, faithful readers, I'm sorry for my absence (and for being boring... see comment on last post), really, truly I am. April was a funny month- lots of changes. There were some good times and some harder times. May has been a bit more fun. There are many things I've been thinking about lately, some things I want to address here soonish.
I'm gonna be lame for a minute and give you some highs and lows:
- House changes: Well, we started out with 6 people, then we were down to 5. At the beginning of May, Chloe's older sister, Hope, came to live and work in our community to get a sense of what Chloe loved about this place, so we were back up to 6. 2 weeks later, Jared basically got fired from his volunteer position and had to go home, back down to 5. 2 weeks after that, Hope decided it was too difficult for her to be away from her family. Now we are down to the "Core Four." We are getting another volunteer in July who will (at this point) be here for 2 years. Who knows what will happen next?!
- Trips to Denver: I went to a breastfeeding conference in Denver for a few days, it was great! Made me think about being a postpartum nurse again because those first few days are so important for establishing breastfeeding. And it gave me lots of resources for teaching clients before they deliver. Another trip was meeting my parents in Denver last weekend for my State Nightingale Award dinner. It was fun and quite fancy. I didn't trip and I didn't have to make a speech, so I was happy. However, I didn't win, but I was the youngest person by about 20 years, so I've got that going me! I was just so honored to be a part of it, maybe one day I'll make it to the top...
- Tests: Just FYI, I don't have HIV, Hep B or Hep C. I was giving Tuberculosis test shots at the fire department and I was wearing slick gloves. Well, as I was putting the safety cap on after giving a shot, I dropped the needle. It was so small, I thought the other side hit, but later I saw a stream of blood. I went to the ER to get tests done and the girl came back negative too, so I'm ok! I just felt kind of silly about the whole thing and hope that I never have that happen to me again, really I am quite careful.
- Easter: I just loved Holy Week and Easter in April. We had a nice Maundy Thursday dinner and Communion service with our little house church. The oldest town in Colorado is about an hour away, San Luis, and they have a great "Stations of the Cross" walk. Some of us went down and walked it, appropriately, in the rain and cold. On Easter, we attended a sunrise service and later had our church and friends over for lunch (or, if you're from the farm, dinner because it's nice). This was so lovely! It was a potluck, we had an egg hunt (with confetti!), and sat around singing hymns (Mennonite style- four part harmonies).
- Fun Happenings: A few benefits around town- Rennaissance time with Romeo and Juliet and starting the dance party at Generosity on Tap. A few walks- Coming Alive (a wellness program I coordinated at work) and Crop Walk (in the snow on May 1). A few birthday and going away parties. We are starting a garden at the house- I'm nervous and excited!
I will do my best to start this up again. My camera broke, so unless I get another one, I'll be more wordy than normal (and viewership will decline, I'm aware...). Thanks for checking in!
I'm gonna be lame for a minute and give you some highs and lows:
- House changes: Well, we started out with 6 people, then we were down to 5. At the beginning of May, Chloe's older sister, Hope, came to live and work in our community to get a sense of what Chloe loved about this place, so we were back up to 6. 2 weeks later, Jared basically got fired from his volunteer position and had to go home, back down to 5. 2 weeks after that, Hope decided it was too difficult for her to be away from her family. Now we are down to the "Core Four." We are getting another volunteer in July who will (at this point) be here for 2 years. Who knows what will happen next?!
- Trips to Denver: I went to a breastfeeding conference in Denver for a few days, it was great! Made me think about being a postpartum nurse again because those first few days are so important for establishing breastfeeding. And it gave me lots of resources for teaching clients before they deliver. Another trip was meeting my parents in Denver last weekend for my State Nightingale Award dinner. It was fun and quite fancy. I didn't trip and I didn't have to make a speech, so I was happy. However, I didn't win, but I was the youngest person by about 20 years, so I've got that going me! I was just so honored to be a part of it, maybe one day I'll make it to the top...
- Tests: Just FYI, I don't have HIV, Hep B or Hep C. I was giving Tuberculosis test shots at the fire department and I was wearing slick gloves. Well, as I was putting the safety cap on after giving a shot, I dropped the needle. It was so small, I thought the other side hit, but later I saw a stream of blood. I went to the ER to get tests done and the girl came back negative too, so I'm ok! I just felt kind of silly about the whole thing and hope that I never have that happen to me again, really I am quite careful.
- Easter: I just loved Holy Week and Easter in April. We had a nice Maundy Thursday dinner and Communion service with our little house church. The oldest town in Colorado is about an hour away, San Luis, and they have a great "Stations of the Cross" walk. Some of us went down and walked it, appropriately, in the rain and cold. On Easter, we attended a sunrise service and later had our church and friends over for lunch (or, if you're from the farm, dinner because it's nice). This was so lovely! It was a potluck, we had an egg hunt (with confetti!), and sat around singing hymns (Mennonite style- four part harmonies).
- Fun Happenings: A few benefits around town- Rennaissance time with Romeo and Juliet and starting the dance party at Generosity on Tap. A few walks- Coming Alive (a wellness program I coordinated at work) and Crop Walk (in the snow on May 1). A few birthday and going away parties. We are starting a garden at the house- I'm nervous and excited!
I will do my best to start this up again. My camera broke, so unless I get another one, I'll be more wordy than normal (and viewership will decline, I'm aware...). Thanks for checking in!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Crumbling continuity
I am going to be a bridesmaid for the 5th time this year- well, technically 4th and 5th time as I will be in 2. Isn't there some sort of saying about girls like me...
I think it's more of a blessing than a curse, because I think this happens for a reason. Not as in "all things happen for a reason", but as in there is an actual reason this happens. It's where people put their priorities (and I don't mean that in a haughty sense, please read on). The fact that I have had 5 friends ask me to stand with them for this important decision and life change is pretty incredible. I have good friendships and I have put them at a priority in my life (also keep in my mind: I am an only child). Maybe at a cost to other things in my life. Or, maybe in order to not deal with other things. Another thing, I take being a bridesmaid pretty seriously. I am a part of your union and will do my best to keep it that way and do what I can to keep the union. It's not a popularity contest, it's a matter of who is going to be there and support you.
I do want to say a few things about being 25 and single for most of my life. While I do believe "Being alone... there's a certain dignity to it", there are times when I don't want to be alone, but I still want my dignity. For too long, I've thought it was either you are so happy being single or you are desperate and pathetic. Well, I'm learning there is a middle ground and I'm getting there. I have friends in so many different places in life and really have just come to the conclusion that life can be difficult (single or attached), but life can be awesome and it really is what you make of it. Being free and independent can be great, sharing experiences with one person can be great; being alone and frustrated can be hard, dealing with one person for the rest of your life can be hard. The grass isn't any greener on the other side; really your own grass is just fine, but if you don't like it, work on your it and stop envying other grass (because they are probably thinking the same thing... or looking at other grass). Wow, that analogy went far, huh? I just don't want to be pitied or pressured.
Wanna know my least favorite question I get as a single girl? When I tell people my ideas and plans for my life, they respond with "Well, just wait till you meet a special guy." First of all, I never really know how to respond to that (especially because, compared to others, I really don't get that much grief about being single). Second, I just want to ask "Who is this guy that is going to come in and ruin everything?" I mean, don't you want someone with similar passions and ideas or at least supports yours, instead of resenting someone for "holding you back"? I realize things change and people change (I've changed "on my own"... just look at where I'm living, anything can happen), but I hope no one sets everything they truly care about aside to be with someone who doesn't support their own passions and ideas. And, I certainly hope no one thinks I'm that girl who will, just to not be alone. Ultimately, I never say any of this to the person, I probably just sort of half fake laugh.
Lastly, I am grateful for the my single life I've had. I've made some great friends, done some neat things, and taken advantage of being independent. My abilities to be on my own, make tough decisions and navigate the world by myself are things I wouldn't trade for much. Your life experiences make you who you are. Enjoy it.
I think it's more of a blessing than a curse, because I think this happens for a reason. Not as in "all things happen for a reason", but as in there is an actual reason this happens. It's where people put their priorities (and I don't mean that in a haughty sense, please read on). The fact that I have had 5 friends ask me to stand with them for this important decision and life change is pretty incredible. I have good friendships and I have put them at a priority in my life (also keep in my mind: I am an only child). Maybe at a cost to other things in my life. Or, maybe in order to not deal with other things. Another thing, I take being a bridesmaid pretty seriously. I am a part of your union and will do my best to keep it that way and do what I can to keep the union. It's not a popularity contest, it's a matter of who is going to be there and support you.
I do want to say a few things about being 25 and single for most of my life. While I do believe "Being alone... there's a certain dignity to it", there are times when I don't want to be alone, but I still want my dignity. For too long, I've thought it was either you are so happy being single or you are desperate and pathetic. Well, I'm learning there is a middle ground and I'm getting there. I have friends in so many different places in life and really have just come to the conclusion that life can be difficult (single or attached), but life can be awesome and it really is what you make of it. Being free and independent can be great, sharing experiences with one person can be great; being alone and frustrated can be hard, dealing with one person for the rest of your life can be hard. The grass isn't any greener on the other side; really your own grass is just fine, but if you don't like it, work on your it and stop envying other grass (because they are probably thinking the same thing... or looking at other grass). Wow, that analogy went far, huh? I just don't want to be pitied or pressured.
Wanna know my least favorite question I get as a single girl? When I tell people my ideas and plans for my life, they respond with "Well, just wait till you meet a special guy." First of all, I never really know how to respond to that (especially because, compared to others, I really don't get that much grief about being single). Second, I just want to ask "Who is this guy that is going to come in and ruin everything?" I mean, don't you want someone with similar passions and ideas or at least supports yours, instead of resenting someone for "holding you back"? I realize things change and people change (I've changed "on my own"... just look at where I'm living, anything can happen), but I hope no one sets everything they truly care about aside to be with someone who doesn't support their own passions and ideas. And, I certainly hope no one thinks I'm that girl who will, just to not be alone. Ultimately, I never say any of this to the person, I probably just sort of half fake laugh.
Lastly, I am grateful for the my single life I've had. I've made some great friends, done some neat things, and taken advantage of being independent. My abilities to be on my own, make tough decisions and navigate the world by myself are things I wouldn't trade for much. Your life experiences make you who you are. Enjoy it.
Friday, March 25, 2011
F@#k you, I'm a girl!
I gotta be honest, some things have been hard. A few weeks ago I was kind of an emotional wreck. While I've calmed down a bit, I'm taking a much needed "Mental Health Day" today.
It just feels like it's one thing after another and I'm getting a little tired of it. Real tired. There are many good things going on, but my mind gets cloudy with all the heavier things that I have a hard time remembering these blessings. This isn't good. Now I'm only thinking about that... hehe. I would just like a few months of stability (man, I'm getting old).
I've been thinking about my anger a bit in the last few weeks. My anger might be where this focus on the bad things comes from. The best response I've had to "No Doubt is my favorite band" is "Wow, you must a very angry person." I was surprised by that, but there is a bit of anger in their songs and, if you've ever had the pleasure of seeing them live (especially in the 90s) you'll see more of that. That's sort of how I am with anger too: quite angry, but not so obvious about it. I think one of my biggest downfalls is my expectations of other people and things. I hold people to this high standard that is unfair and I get disappointed (read: upset) when they fall short.
Another thing is that I don't really know how to express my anger, so I just bottle it up and then become bitter. I come from a yelling family, we just yell whatever when we're mad. However, I don't feel comfortable with yelling at people who are not in my family, so I don't really know how to constructively be mad at people. Usually, it is expressed as sadness- maybe disappointment- and I can just be mean to the people I care about. I also fear people being mad at me; I try not to bring it up their faults with them so that they won't bring up my faults to me. Yes, I'm aware that this is not healthy. Put on the list of things I need to deal with in my life.
Really, this all stems from my perfectionism... which, honestly, plagues my life. I need to let go.
And, I want to apologize if you've experienced my anger, bitterness, complaining, etc. I know it's annoying and I'm trying to figure it out.
It just feels like it's one thing after another and I'm getting a little tired of it. Real tired. There are many good things going on, but my mind gets cloudy with all the heavier things that I have a hard time remembering these blessings. This isn't good. Now I'm only thinking about that... hehe. I would just like a few months of stability (man, I'm getting old).
I've been thinking about my anger a bit in the last few weeks. My anger might be where this focus on the bad things comes from. The best response I've had to "No Doubt is my favorite band" is "Wow, you must a very angry person." I was surprised by that, but there is a bit of anger in their songs and, if you've ever had the pleasure of seeing them live (especially in the 90s) you'll see more of that. That's sort of how I am with anger too: quite angry, but not so obvious about it. I think one of my biggest downfalls is my expectations of other people and things. I hold people to this high standard that is unfair and I get disappointed (read: upset) when they fall short.
Another thing is that I don't really know how to express my anger, so I just bottle it up and then become bitter. I come from a yelling family, we just yell whatever when we're mad. However, I don't feel comfortable with yelling at people who are not in my family, so I don't really know how to constructively be mad at people. Usually, it is expressed as sadness- maybe disappointment- and I can just be mean to the people I care about. I also fear people being mad at me; I try not to bring it up their faults with them so that they won't bring up my faults to me. Yes, I'm aware that this is not healthy. Put on the list of things I need to deal with in my life.
Really, this all stems from my perfectionism... which, honestly, plagues my life. I need to let go.
And, I want to apologize if you've experienced my anger, bitterness, complaining, etc. I know it's annoying and I'm trying to figure it out.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I've come closer to reaching the top
1. I'm going to London for my dear friend Betsy's wedding in September! As in, I actually have tickets, it's a done deal.
2. While I love traveling, I hate the actual travel part. I'm always stressed out on the way to the plane, but once I'm in a new place, I love figuring out what is going on. In fact, here's a tip: only get a rough idea of where your hostel (or whatever) is and then you're forced to really look at the map and even ask for help! It's how I keep my sense of direction sharp and meet some good people.
3. I (semi) regret not changing my name to Mikki Mikaila Carline Holt when I went through all that official name drama.
4. I don't regret one penny of what I paid for my VIP No Doubt experience and was so happy to spend it with special people.
5. I still love punk music and miss going crazy at shows.
6. I have 2 good friends from high school who were scared of me when we first met.
7. I don't like watching award shows because I tear up (or, if I'm by myself, outright cry) at the speeches. Even from people I've never heard of- sometimes harder at those because if they aren't super well known I feel like this is a bigger deal for them! Needless to say, I won't be going to many Oscar parties in my lifetime.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this little piece of me. I'm not too sure who's out there reading this, but I'd like to give this award to 2 blogs and friends I enjoy:
Mari, The Unexpected Harvest
Lisa, Silent E
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