It's too real now

So, I've had my little Seattle Christmas vacation (and didn't a take a single picture, I'm an idiot) and I'm back in the swing of things. It's funny how this is normal life now. I feel as though I'm getting into the thick of it now. The honeymoon phase is over. My ideals and perceptions are being challenged as reality sets in. Why, again, am I here? What am I really doing here? It's weird when "social justice work" just becomes.... well, work.

I need to be reminded of my purpose here. I need something to keep me interested. I need to set priorities. I want to keep learning. I want to take more photos. I want to get to know people.

The good news is that I'm glad to be back. Even though I wanted to stay longer in Seattle and wish the valley was 4 hours away from Seattle, not Denver. The good news is that things are happening here. Even though some of them are hard and not fun, I will learn; and others are great and exciting!

I'm realizing I take things for granted. And, that I used to take things for granted that are not a part of my life now. To remind myself, to take something for granted means that I act as though it'll always be available to me and I'm not grateful that it is there at all.

I'll be honest, I hate not making money. It's not just that I don't make "much" money, it's that I don't make any whatsoever. Whatever I have in bank right now is what I will have for the next year and a half, it's not getting replenished any time soon. However, I do take that little money I have in the bank for granted. It is a luxury to be able to be a volunteer, a fact I always find interesting.

I would say that I take my friends and family for granted, for this I'm sorry. Have you ever been around people that don't really reference "my friend"? I have and I'm noticing it more. I don't know where I would be without these great people in my life who really know me. We are called to love the friendless, which is hard because there is usually a "reason" they are friendless.

I take my church experience for granted. It hasn't always been the best experience, but I'm thankful it hasn't been the worst. This home church with half Mennonites, half everything else, is really challenging my ideas on what church is. Things that I think make up a church service aren't what others need. This is making me think about what really is important to church and what I want to see. We have all been shaped by our past experiences and have to allow for new experiences to continue to shape us.

All this to say, I'm looking forward to the new year of my now normal life here in the valley. I just pray I take advantage of it and don't miss opportunities.