Stand and deliver

I'm constantly amazed by God's faithfulness to me and those around me. True, there's crap in the world and I've personally dealt with crap, but it's easier to deal with when you know that someone is in control and there is a reason for the madness. When going through difficult times, it's hard to see the light, but when you get those glimpses of sun light coming or when you finally get out of the darkness, the light is blinding and amazing.

Remember how I kept saying "this is the least stressful time of my life", well I am grateful for that time as it as prepared me for the past month (well, honestly, I'm still not stressed out). I have heard of and experienced more death, sickness, and problems in just the last month than I am used to, but I'm at peace with it. One thing I love about the Bible is that it doesn't say that everything is going to be great if you just believe in God, it gives reason for the crap in the world. It's beyond me why people fall into the "health and wealth" gospel, aren't they just constantly disappointed and feeling guilty?? We live in a fallen world with fallen people, it's going to be hard, but you're not alone and God is in control. Really, there's nothing that I can do on my own to change the junk and I'm thankful that is not all on me in my weakness.

There are many things to be thankful (and I really didn't mean this to be a "What are you thankful for on Thanksgiving?" post, honest). Being cynical about what you are not thankful for is not going to get you anywhere- well, I guess just depressed and pathetic. I fight cynicism almost daily- I want to hope and be encouraged! I'm thankful that I am here in the valley and I'm excited about what I'm doing in my job and the relationships I'm forming out here. I'm thankful for this little church that we're starting- it encourages me to be excited about church again and it's freeing me to think and feel how God leads me without fear of judgement. I'm thankful for my friends and family wherever they might be (in life and the world) at the moment. I love that I have so many great people in my life doing amazing and different things, you spur to move forward and evolve. I'm thankful for changes and beauty, so thankful to see the sunrise and sunset over the snowcapped mountains everyday!

I'm remembering last thanksgiving, biking to work on the surprisingly deserted streets of Chicago. I am thankful for that time, I loved biking around that city and I did like my job. You never know what is going to happen when you free yourself from expectation and obligation!

It's my life

I'm sure you know this, but I don't love evangelism. There's a part of me that doesn't care if you don't believe. I guess I care to a certain degree, but ultimately it's your decision and you have to live and deal with it. I don't love defending my beliefs is another thing- whether it be my politics, faith, life outlook, etc. For me, it's more I'm going to do my own thing and you can do yours.

This isn't to say this is what I think we're called to be. Yes, I do believe that God calls us to tell others about Him, but I think that manifests differently for everyone. For some, it will be to straightforwardly tell others about Jesus, and I'm sure there are people that would respond to that type of evangelism (I wouldn't relate with them, so I'm not going to be doing that anytime soon). For me, I think it's more of... well, this is a big part of my life, it's bound to come up and it will when it will, then I'll talk about it, but I'm not going to force the conversation. I can only talk about my life and experience. I don't represent Christianity as a whole, and I probably don't fall in line with the few Christians represented on TV (notice: that's a representation of a handful of Christians). And, if you don't believe what I believe, that's fine (and I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler), just reciprocate that respect I want to show you.

On the other hand, it does make me sad when people don't believe the Truth of the Gospel. It does. I would like you to believe and understand. I would love for you to know the hope and joy that comes through seeing life through the promises and work of God. One thing I will say, that a friend told me quite a while ago: Figure it out before you die. You don't have your whole life to think about things, but you have right now. It is a balance of living and enjoying life, while thinking about the bigger picture. You really don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. This is the best time of your life, think about it.

I sip on dreams

I think I am in love. With Public Health. Got your attention, didn't I?

Last week I was in Denver at the American Public Health Association annual conference. The theme was social justice- awesome! I just feel like this where I am supposed to be. I would be bored out of my mind at a med/surg conference, but I'm fueled by all these talk of public health. It's exciting to be on the other side of problems- trying to stop them before they happen or looking into the root cause of issues.

This conference was a little overwhelming- attendance was the amount of people who live in Alamosa. I basically went to presentations of research projects, sometimes really boring and obvious (yes, people are going to make trade offs when they have high medical bills) and sometimes pretty interesting (the calories on menus really are affecting eating habits). I've already been able to apply some of the things I've learned to everyday and my practice. Now, I love public health nursing, but I only went to one session by that group. And, I was a little disappointed- “Innovations in Environmental Nursing” was explaining a new sort of social network for information on our effect on the environment, starting with “Now you enter http://...” Come on, nurses.

It definitely made me think about wanting to go back to school for more training in this field. Hmmmm....