Comforting lie (part 2)

I think every Christian needs to watch this, liberal and conservative. I think every non-Christian should watch this, to get a better idea of who the real Jesus is, not what the loud mouths on tv claim.

My favorite part: If this is going to be a Christian that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus is just as selfish as we are, or we have got to acknowledge that He commands us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

Just beautiful.

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Our (town) was too small

So we had to move! I'm happy to tell you that we are officially residents of the booming metropolis of Alamosa! It's about 15 miles north of La Jara with a population of 10,000. All my housemates can now walk to work and my commute is about 25 minutes shorter. Pretty much our lives are in Alamosa- our friends, church, work, shops, etc. Our house is also really great- open and bright. Our house in La Jara really didn't have that much natural light, but this house has huge south facing windows in all the common rooms. We've been here for 2 weeks and have already had many people over (our church meets at our house as well) and people can just drop by to say hi! It will be just nice to be part of the larger community out here and be more connected. My favorite part? It's 4 blocks to my coffee shop! It is sort of weird that we're sort of starting this house here after volunteers have been living in La Jara for about 30 years. Here's to new traditions!

I'm excited to be going to Seattle at the end of the week! With the move and this trip, it gets me thinking about "home" and community. I like living here and I like why I'm living in community, however I miss Seattle and I miss living by myself. I've been alone at the house all week and it's made me realize just how much I miss living alone- I miss the freedom and the sense of ownership. While my community here is solidifying, I don't really know where home is or what that really means. When people ask where I'm from, I say "Originally, Seattle". Seattle is more home to me than anything else, I guess. I can't wait to be there for 5 full days!

May I present, the NEW MVS house in Alamosa...

The kitchen with lots of counter space:

Our welcoming living room:

My room! Yes, it's a bit smaller:

And, just to remind you that I'm living in Colorado:

Love from Alamosa!

Stand and deliver

I'm constantly amazed by God's faithfulness to me and those around me. True, there's crap in the world and I've personally dealt with crap, but it's easier to deal with when you know that someone is in control and there is a reason for the madness. When going through difficult times, it's hard to see the light, but when you get those glimpses of sun light coming or when you finally get out of the darkness, the light is blinding and amazing.

Remember how I kept saying "this is the least stressful time of my life", well I am grateful for that time as it as prepared me for the past month (well, honestly, I'm still not stressed out). I have heard of and experienced more death, sickness, and problems in just the last month than I am used to, but I'm at peace with it. One thing I love about the Bible is that it doesn't say that everything is going to be great if you just believe in God, it gives reason for the crap in the world. It's beyond me why people fall into the "health and wealth" gospel, aren't they just constantly disappointed and feeling guilty?? We live in a fallen world with fallen people, it's going to be hard, but you're not alone and God is in control. Really, there's nothing that I can do on my own to change the junk and I'm thankful that is not all on me in my weakness.

There are many things to be thankful (and I really didn't mean this to be a "What are you thankful for on Thanksgiving?" post, honest). Being cynical about what you are not thankful for is not going to get you anywhere- well, I guess just depressed and pathetic. I fight cynicism almost daily- I want to hope and be encouraged! I'm thankful that I am here in the valley and I'm excited about what I'm doing in my job and the relationships I'm forming out here. I'm thankful for this little church that we're starting- it encourages me to be excited about church again and it's freeing me to think and feel how God leads me without fear of judgement. I'm thankful for my friends and family wherever they might be (in life and the world) at the moment. I love that I have so many great people in my life doing amazing and different things, you spur to move forward and evolve. I'm thankful for changes and beauty, so thankful to see the sunrise and sunset over the snowcapped mountains everyday!

I'm remembering last thanksgiving, biking to work on the surprisingly deserted streets of Chicago. I am thankful for that time, I loved biking around that city and I did like my job. You never know what is going to happen when you free yourself from expectation and obligation!

It's my life

I'm sure you know this, but I don't love evangelism. There's a part of me that doesn't care if you don't believe. I guess I care to a certain degree, but ultimately it's your decision and you have to live and deal with it. I don't love defending my beliefs is another thing- whether it be my politics, faith, life outlook, etc. For me, it's more I'm going to do my own thing and you can do yours.

This isn't to say this is what I think we're called to be. Yes, I do believe that God calls us to tell others about Him, but I think that manifests differently for everyone. For some, it will be to straightforwardly tell others about Jesus, and I'm sure there are people that would respond to that type of evangelism (I wouldn't relate with them, so I'm not going to be doing that anytime soon). For me, I think it's more of... well, this is a big part of my life, it's bound to come up and it will when it will, then I'll talk about it, but I'm not going to force the conversation. I can only talk about my life and experience. I don't represent Christianity as a whole, and I probably don't fall in line with the few Christians represented on TV (notice: that's a representation of a handful of Christians). And, if you don't believe what I believe, that's fine (and I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler), just reciprocate that respect I want to show you.

On the other hand, it does make me sad when people don't believe the Truth of the Gospel. It does. I would like you to believe and understand. I would love for you to know the hope and joy that comes through seeing life through the promises and work of God. One thing I will say, that a friend told me quite a while ago: Figure it out before you die. You don't have your whole life to think about things, but you have right now. It is a balance of living and enjoying life, while thinking about the bigger picture. You really don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. This is the best time of your life, think about it.

I sip on dreams

I think I am in love. With Public Health. Got your attention, didn't I?

Last week I was in Denver at the American Public Health Association annual conference. The theme was social justice- awesome! I just feel like this where I am supposed to be. I would be bored out of my mind at a med/surg conference, but I'm fueled by all these talk of public health. It's exciting to be on the other side of problems- trying to stop them before they happen or looking into the root cause of issues.

This conference was a little overwhelming- attendance was the amount of people who live in Alamosa. I basically went to presentations of research projects, sometimes really boring and obvious (yes, people are going to make trade offs when they have high medical bills) and sometimes pretty interesting (the calories on menus really are affecting eating habits). I've already been able to apply some of the things I've learned to everyday and my practice. Now, I love public health nursing, but I only went to one session by that group. And, I was a little disappointed- “Innovations in Environmental Nursing” was explaining a new sort of social network for information on our effect on the environment, starting with “Now you enter http://...” Come on, nurses.

It definitely made me think about wanting to go back to school for more training in this field. Hmmmm....

So far, the climb

I've never been a part of a memorial service. I hope it's a long time until I have to do another one. It was a nice celebration of life. I put together a slideshow of pictures from her time out here. The music selection stressed me out, I had so many to choose from and people had their ideas. I had to make the 'exec dec' and pick one the one that I was most at peace with. This was "I'll Cover You (Reprise)" from 'Rent'. We sang 'Rent' many times and as a 'Rent' fan I would be honor if she played this for me. Although, I did have to use the movie version because that is the one she knew, so it was a little different for me.

I also had the privilege to say a few words about my time with Chloe. Here were my thoughts:

I believe everyone is put into your life for a reason- sometimes it's to help them, sometimes to help you. Well, usually I think I'm helping them and then I'll, humbly, realize it's just the opposite. Every once in a while it goes both ways.

Chloe is the closest I've come to a little sister. She was so interested in life and the bigger picture. My favorite memories of our time together are sitting in her room on our “wonderful” MVS chairs, drinking tea, and just talking about anything and everything. I would have my Seattle mug and she would have her Colorado mug. We were in different places in life and both appreciated that about each other. She reminds me of how to be young and carefree; I hope I didn't do the opposite to inspire her to be old and boring. She was full of questions about life outside of her own, which I had the privilege to encourage and attempt to answer when possible.

I have been so excited to see where life takes her and I have just known that she is going to impact many, many people through her years. I'm humbled to be a part of it and thank God for the rare opportunity to know a spirit like Chloe's, even for such a short time. It's amazing to think that her life is a part of this group and God is working through her here today, tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives. His work through her is not done- I see it in everyone here.

One of my favorite stories of hers is how every time she sees her Grandma, she tells Chloe “Remember, this is the best time of your life”. She lived that.

EDIT:

Before the service, we had the opportunity to dedicate a tree to her in front of our new house in Alamosa. This was such a beautiful thing, as she was the "caretaker of all living things" of the house- including her housemates! It will be such a blessing to see the tree blossom and be reminded of Chloe, her spirit and life.

Please don't be sad for me

"The world is my community" Chloe, 2nd grade. Amazing.

Today was Chloe's memorial service. This is never easy, but can be joyous as we a celebrate a wonderful life. There was laughing and crying, singing and clapping, stories and readings. She will be missed around the world.

Last night I saw Chloe. I've never been to an open casket showing, but I'm glad I did. I got to say the good-bye our last phone conversation didn't fulfill. It surprised me how much I broke down when I saw her, man I cried. It was good. Trust me, I've cried a bit and teared up enough, but last night was a hard to breath cry. Again, good and needed.

I spent time with her sister and some of her close friends from high school and college. I'm thankful for this, for their love. I'm thankful that they let us borrow her for a few months. It takes less than a few months to see Chloe's beauty and love.

There were special musical moments for me: The Weaver Boys and 606. Chloe's dad has 6 brothers (no sisters) and they had a band for a while called The Weaver Boys. She had a tape that we never got around to listening to, but I had the honor of hearing them play a few songs. "Don't need this house no more" was perfect. If you've never heard Mennonites sing "Praise God from Whom All Blessing Flow", you've never heard it that song the way it was meant to be. They call it "606" because that's the number in the hymnal. It's got a few different parts and just wonderful.

Cari, Chloe's friend from her work in Alamosa, read a poem. It was just beautiful. I could definitely hear Chloe speaking to all of us through it.

All Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul 's Cathedral

Sunday is our memorial service here in Alamosa. This is a testament to our work done here over the years- that so many people care after just a few months. We are going to plant a tree for her at our new house. Next week is going to be hard. We are going to start our new normal.